Gnat In My Lipgloss

We had a great Christmas this year. Cody and I spent the night in Seymour with his family. It's the first time we had all been able to stay out there together, so a big thanks to mom and dad for watching the dogs for us! We had a lot of fun eating pizza and staying up late. It was a lot of fun hearing Parker (and Melanie, for that matter) wishing for a white Christmas! We played several games of Sequence, where the girls really showed the boys how the game was played! Ok~ that's not quite true....we lost every game, but we had fun! After a great (but short) night's sleep we woke up to the wonderful smells of Melanie's Christmas breakfast casserole. After breakfast it was time to open gifts! It was a lot of fun watching Parker get so excited about all his presents. We got some great gifts, including a beautiful pitcher for me, and a nice cooler for Cody when he goes camping.

After opening gifts with Cody's family we headed to my parent's house for lunch. Mom made a great dinner and we feasted until we couldn't eat anymore. Anna had a great time opening her gifts. We got her a play highchair and pack-n-play for her dolls. I loved seeing her face when she opened it! She also got a doll from Grandma and Grandpa that she could take into the bathtub with her. She was so excited that she had to take a bath in the middle of the day to check it out. We also found out that this particular doll also pees....to Anna's delight!

Christmas was great this year, but I'm sure worn out! For some reason my computer won't let me attach any pictures right now, but I'll try again later! Merry Christmas everyone!

I thought I would do a blog about some of my Christmas wishes. Here we go!

1. That we would get a White Christmas (I mean a good white Christmas, not the yucky kind that turns all black in one hour)

2. For my Aunt Mary to get better and be able to have a good Christmas, even if she will be in the hospital.

3. That my brother and Brooke make it down here Christmas day.

4. That my #1 wish doesn't interfere with my # 3 wish :)

5. That someone gets me a nice calender or two....

6. For Parker and Anna to enjoy the gifts we got them.

7. For my Uncle's family to have a safe trip up here and for them to be able to come!

8. For my grandma to have a good Christmas, even though my grandpa can't be here with us.

9. For my grandma to enjoy her Christmas gift from all her grandchildren.

10. I was aiming for ten, but ran out at nine....sorry!

Well, I took my last final for my fourth semester of Hygiene school on Thursday. This was a tough semester, but we finally made it through. I can't believe how fast it went. Sometimes I still feel like I'm at the beginning of our summer semester getting ready to see my first real patient. When I think of all I've learned these last four semesters, I am amazed that my brain can hold it all. But hold it, it shall, because next semester is boards! There are still days that I feel like I can't do it. Days that May of 2010 feels like a lifetime away. But there are now some days that I feel like I might just be a little closer to fullfilling my dream.

Today was one of those days. Our Christmas party is next week and I was preparing the gift for my little sister (a 1st year hygiene student I've been assigned to mentor). I decided that I would make her some cheat sheets for clinic. As I was copying information from my own cheat sheets, I realized how much information I had memorized from those sheets. I don't even use half of them anymore! It was a good feeling to be able to pass information on to someone else. I hope it will make her feel a little bit less scared about starting her clinicals.

As I said earlier, this semester was pretty tough. We had several really big projects and papers to do. The main ones were table clinic and case presentations. Table clinic is kind of like a science fair project for the dental profession. The only difference is, you're not really doing an experiment. For table clinics, you pick a partner and a topic. You then research that topic and write a 10 page paper over it. You also make a presentation board. This board is the part that resembles a science fair project. It has to be a representation of your paper. After putting all of this together you have to present it to judges with a 5-7 minute speech. The judges then decide who's project was the best. The winners are sent to Las Vegas to present at the National Conference. I chose Alicia as my partner. We did our project over Homeopathic Remedies for Smoking Cessation. It was a tough topic, but we got third place!

Our case presentations were due the day after our tablic clinics were due. For our case presentations we had to find a patient that had an interesting disease, condition or medical history and give a presentation on how we treated the patient. This was really fun for me. I made a great powerpoint complete with intraoral pictures of my patient. It went really well, and my teachers were really happy with it.

We had some good times in there though, too. Our class has really gotten to know each other a lot better, and I've made some really great friends. We all took a trip up to Tan-tar-a for the Missouri Dental Hygiene Association annual cesstion. We had a good time and I'm glad we took the time to go. It seems strange to think that in a few short months we won't be seeing each other on a daily basis anymore.

Now that I'm through with this semester I've got about a month of. I, of course, will be studying for boards a lot, but I'm also planning to make some trips to visit some people I haven't seen for awhile. I'm hoping to spend a couple of days with my brother in Kansas City and my grandma in Lockwood. My best friend is also gonna have her baby....someday....and hopefully I'll be able to make it up to Columbia to see them. I'm really excited to be able to spend some time with my family and friends, especially since I've had to give up so much time for school lately.

For as long as I can remember my mom has made these little candy turkeys for Thanksgiving. They are so cute, and little kids love them. They are also really easy to make~ if you can find the ingrediants! I decided to make these turkeys to bring to Thanksgiving dinner with Cody's family. I've literally been looking for the ingrediants for a week! Now, when I say ingrediants I'm not talking about unique, foreign, never heard-of items. I'm talking all American good ole candy! These turkeys consist of candy corn (for the beak), cream drops (for the body), fudge striped cookies (for the tail) and chocolate chips (for the legs and glue to hold it all together). Now, it seems like one little trip to Walmart would give me all I needed to make these cute little boogers. HA! The chocolate chips, obviously, pose no problem. The fudge striped cookies were a little difficult to find, but doable. I literally went to 3 different Price Cutters, a Walgreens, two Walmarts, a Dillions and called K-Mart to find the candy corn and cream drops! And I still got home without cream drops! I can find no store in Springfield that carries these. Completely FRUSTRATING! Soooo, I had to substitute Reece's Peanut Butter Cups instead of cream drops. Not nearly as cute, but it'll have to do, I guess. The things we do for a simple dinner.....

Well, here we are at the close of yet another semester in Hygiene school. Four down, one to go!! Actually, we aren't completely finished with this semester yet, but almost. I only have one more day in clinic, which is this Tuesday, so that is really exciting! I completed more than enough of my requirements for the semester, so I was very relieved. I only have two oral pathology classes left and then the final, and I am already completely done with my Community class. My main DHY class is almost done too, we just have to give our Case Presentations. My stupid sociology class still has like two weeks, but I worked ahead and am done with all the homework. Since it's an online class I don't have to do anything else except for two tests. I can't wait to be done with everything!

Other than school, life has been pretty boring. Thanksgiving is coming up and we are going to spend some good time with family. I'm excited about Christmas because we've got family coming from Tennessee and Georgia. I haven't seen them in a while and I know we'll have tons of fun. Plus, I won't be in school or working so I'll be able to enjoy them much more.

I'm making some changes on the homefront this month. I've decided that my dogs are completely out of control, and I'm pretty sure that Wrigley feels he is the leader of our little "pack". Soooo, I've decided it's time to dethrone him and take the reins. I am making small and easy adjustments to his comfy life here, and am already seeing results. I no longer allow them on the couch unless I tell them it's okay; I make them sit before getting their food, and I make them wait to go through the door until I walk through. Hopefully all this will make Wrigley realise I am in control and I'm the leader. We'll see....

Well, it's week 8 in my semester and for those of you who haven't been in school for awhile that means....midterms! It also means that I only have 8 more weeks left in this semester! I've been really busy studying for our regular classes as well as studying for the 4 board examinations we will take in March and April for our license. I'm really getting excited about graduation, but it also still seems like it's a long way off. But, we're trudging along! One day I will write a blog about my graduation day!

My poor little puppy, Wrigley, had a rough day on Saturday. He was bitten by another dog that was staying with our neighbors. The dog had dug a small hole underneath our fence and Wrigley stuck his nose in the hole and was bitten! He was covered in blood and crying like crazy. Poor little guy, I think he finally realized that he's not a big tough dog! He had two big gashes~ one on his nose and the other on the side of his mouth. He's doing well, but still a little traumatized! I swear he wouldn't leave my lap for like 3 days!

Not much else has been going on here, so there's not too much to write about. I'm going to Tan-Tar-A this weekend, so maybe I'll have more to write then.

Well, I have started back to school. Sigh. I'm not really sure what happened to the last few months! It seems like yesterday I was worrying about my summer semester and thinking I would never make it through, and here I am only two semesters away from graduation!

At the risk of sounding like my school-crazy sister :) I think I might actually really like my classes this semester. I am taking Sociology, Community Dental Health, Oral Pathology and my regular Dental Hygiene class. Most of these classes are online, so I'm not really in class very much, so maybe that's why I like them so much!

This semester we are going to be mentors to the 1st year hygiene class and the assisting class. This is a little strange to me, I'm not exactly used to giving other people advice! I'm excited about it though. I didn't have a very good mentor in my first year of hygiene school, so I'm really taking it serious and want to help as much as I can.

I've decided to try and post an update on my school every month until graduation, I know you all will really look forward to reading all about dental health! I'm really doing this more to document my experience for myself, and what better way to do this than on my blog!

So I started this 1000 piece puzzle and now I hate it with every fiber of my being but I can't just quit mid-puzzle.

I would really like to refinish my table since I have so much extry time on me hands this summer....but my stupid unfinshed puzzle that I can't quit mid-puzzle is all over it...sigh

I watched my cute little niece the other day and while taking a bath she asked me to put her in a "pretend time-out" and then pretended to cry... silly girl

A friend was coming over to visit while I watched Anna, and when I told Anna she was coming she said, "But what if she doesn't like my hair?"

I only have 15 days left until I start back to school

I think I have to go camping (well camping with a decked out fifth-wheel) in November with my in-laws

I hate camping

I wish I could clean faster than my husband/dogs can destroy

Cody is going out of town tonight and I'm scared to stay by myself

I'm going to try to be a big girl and tough it out, but may make a late night trip to Mom and Dad's

Stop judging me!

My best friend Ashley finds out what she's having today and I'm super excited...so call me back Ashley!

I only have two semesters of school left...

It still seems like forever

It's 10:40 am and I got up about 20 mins ago and am already thinking of taking a nap

Again...stop judging me!

That's all.

I have always loved my sister. She was my very first friend, chosen not by me, but by God; and what a wonderful choice He made. I love the quote I choose to title this blog because it really describes the way I view my relationship with my sister. She was given to me by God; here to walk with me through the stormy days as well as the sunny ones. I can only hope that I’m half the sister to her that she is to me.

When we were younger, Amber was my playmate, role model and sometimes (though this title was more often given to Brad) my tormentor. As we grew, I constantly found myself watching Amber to see what she did, what she liked, how she decorated her room. I always loved whatever she did and tried my best to mimic it. I rarely did as well as she did. To this day, I still find myself seeking out her opinion on how to decorate my house, how to handle a problem with friends, or simply why my crazy mind works the way it does.

These last few years Amber and I have grown very close. I can’t say she is my best friend, because she is more than that. I can’t say she is just my sister, because that simply implies a blood tie. She is somewhere, somehow, a combination of both. A person so close to my heart, I think she can feel what I’m thinking before I say it.

In the last couple of days I’ve had to consider what life would be like without my sister. That thought was something to devastating to even dwell on for more than a second. Thinking of her being sick made my heart hurt in ways I can never put into words. My mind simply could not go there. Thankfully, after several days of worry, we received the wonderful news that she would be okay. It was like a cloud had been lifted from my life. Many people say that good can come from such circumstances because it makes people realize how much someone means to them. But, for me, I already knew how special she was, I didn’t need anything to “show” me that.

Amber and I have many great memories together and I am so glad that many more years lay ahead. As my mom once said of her daughters, “she is my sister, no relationship, no friendship can be more precious than that. Friends can come and go, friends can move on and be forgotten, but not so with sisters. She can never come too often, nor stay away too long to become unwelcome. I can love and like things about her as I would a friend, but most important: she is my sister.”

Love you Amber.

Funny story. I was hungry this afternoon so I decided to stop by MickeyD's and get me some yummy junk food complete with a large sweet nectar of life (aka Dr. Pepper). I ordered my food and like normal handed my debit card to the worker. As I waited for my food at the next window I was told that my card did not go through. This didn't make a whole lot of sense to me since I knew we had money in the account. However, I generally panic at the meer thought of money problems, so I quickly went through every possible explanation in my head. In the meanwhile the lady at the window looks down at me (probably thinking horrible thoughts about over drafters in her head) and asks if I have another method of payment with me. She also keeps a death grip on the food bag, ya know, in case I decide to make a dash for it right there in the drive through line! I hand her my credit card, which is quickly accepted by that stupid machine. The lady reluctantly gives me my food and lets me go.

Of course, I race home to check our account balance- which is fine. More than enough to afford some artery-clogging goodness. So what's up then? The machine is obviously not broken cause it took my credit card, and it can't be my debit card cause we have money in the account! A quick call to Cody assures me that he has not been having this problem. I try to chalk it up to a weird twist in my life and forget about it.

A little later I decide to go get some healthy veggies from Dairy Queen (what???? they don't sell vegetables at DQ? ok- I needed some ice cream, shoot me) and I hand them my debit card. I watch the girl slide it through the machine and then try to flag down a manager without my notice. ????? What is going on here? I actually thought maybe the cops were after me for something I didn't remember doing! The manager and employee have a quick conversation and then the manager comes to the window with my card. I hold out my hand for it and she jerks it away saying she needs to see my id. I quickly comply, handing her my licence. After verifying that I am indeed Stacey Stafford, she tells me that my card has been declined and that they have instructions to hold the card and call the banking center. OMG! What the hell is going on here? She reluctantly hands me my card back after I assure her that I've been having this trouble all day. She offers several explanations for what could be the problem, assuming, I'm sure, that I had simply stolen the card and got caught stuffing my face with ice cream! I again have to pay with my credit card and the first employee hands me the ice cream, judging me all the while.

Tired of receiving dirty looks like I'm a common criminal, I decide to just run by the bank. While there I'm told that my card has been cancelled because of a nationwide scam in which someone stole hundreds of debit card numbers. I had been notified of this by letter months ago, but had never received my new debit card. When I explain this to the clerk, she finds that the bank has 3 different addresses for me, none of which are correct. I have literally called that bank like a million times trying to get them the right address! She informs me that they have it right now (yeah, heard that before) and that they will mail my new debit card to the bank so we know it gets to the right place this time. In the meantime, well 10-14 business days to be exact, I'll be out of a debit card. Crap, dang-it to hell! I hate carrying cash! She offered to shred my old debit card for me....nice lady.

Okay, Wrigley just got himself stuck inside my pillowcase (with the pillow also inside) and then freaked out when he couldn't get himself out! Ha ha! It was hilarious- serves him right for peeing on my computer!

Sorry for the long absences between my posts, I haven't been really great about keeping this up! I just seem to find myself so busy doing nothing that I don't have time to do anything else. So, I'll just give a little summary of my summer.

School is going great. I can't believe I only have 3 weeks left before this semester is over. For those of you who are not counting, that means I'll only have 2 semesters left! WOW, I can't wait to graduate! But first I have to make it through these next few weeks. Currently, we are learning how to give injections. It is really fun to give injections, but we also have to be guinea pigs for the other students too! I got 8 different injections in my mouth in two days! That sucked. We are also learning some advanced instrumentation, which I'm really looking forward to. I'm also breaking out all the flash cards and board books so I can start studying for my board examinations. I will take those in March and May of 2010. Not looking forward to that.

Cody and I are looking forward to a time when our schedules will correspond a little better. Right now we pretty much say good morning and good night. The rest of our relationship is conducted over the phone, which sucks. So hopefully some things can change and we can see more of each other soon.

I've really been enjoying spending time with Anna this summer. Mom and I have taken her to the pool a few times, which she loves. She is learning how to blow bubbles and bounce to the side of the pool and call for help in case she ever needs it. It's so cute to watch her enjoy the water.

Unfortunately, I had to say goodbye to my beloved grandpa this summer as well. My grandpa Hubert passed away last week after complications of a minor surgery. I already miss him more than I can express in words. Grandpa was that presence in my life that always seemed superhuman. He was the strongest man I've ever seen. His favorite pastime was fishing. We have so many pictures of Grandpa standing in front of the house with his wading boots on holding up the latest catch. He was beloved by all who knew him. We have cousins in several states, all of whom made the long journey here to Missouri to say goodbye to their hero. It really shows how much he loved all his family when he could impress so much upon each of their lives, even though so many miles seperated them. Life will never ever be the same without his great presence in my life. Though this has been one of the saddest goodbyes I've ever had to say, I rest my hope in the knowledge that I will see Grandpa again. Rest assured that I will look forward to this reunion in Heaven for the rest of my life. Grandpa, I will always love you and I take comfort in the fact that you are no longer in any pain.

So there is my summer in just a few paragraphs. Hopefully I will be better about keeping this blog updated!

Well, I have spent this weekend going through mine and Cody's closets taking out all the clothes that we no longer wear. Why put myself through this you ask? Well, my friend, Jenny, was having a garage sale on Saturday so I decided to try and sell some of our old clothes. She lives in a not so great neighborhood, so I thought that I would be able to sell most of them. They were in pretty good shape- no holes or stains for the most part. Most of them were from Aeropostale, Hollister, American Eagle... basically bought from the mall. Well, the garage sale was kinda a bust, so Jenny suggests that I take the left overs to Plato's Closet (a store that will buy "gently used clothing") and see how much they would give me for them. Great idea Jenny...

So I head over (clear across town) to Plato's stupid Closet, and offer (quite nicely I might add) to sell them my "gently used clothing". Now, I have a laundry basket overflowing with clothes that I have to haul out of my car and lug across the parking lot into the store, trying not to leave a trail of clothing behind me. I finally make it into the store and deposit my laundry basket by the counter. I'm informed that I have to stay in this building surrounded by a million size 1 teenagers with way to much makeup on, while a highschooler sorts through my basket to see if I could have possibly brought anything with me that would make the cut. I am free, however, to desperately search through their store to see if they have anything that could possibly fit me. Right, I'll do that.

Have I mentioned that this wonderful building also doesn't believe in turning on the freakin' air conditioner! So, here I sit hot, tired and sweaty from sitting outside in the sun all day, my hair done up beautifully in an amazing pony tail, waiting for them to call my name. For 30 minutes. My only hopeful thought is maybe I'll get some cash out of it all. Haha

I finally hear my name; blessed relief! I'll be out of here in seconds with some cash in my pocket. I walk forward to see a 5 year old waiting to inform me of their final decision. Her condescending smile improved my mood greatly. She then proceeds to inform me that they "had to pass on a few of my items" because, well, basically they won't by giant clothes from the 60's.

Okay, so she may have said it a little nicer; something like "some of the styles are a little older...." and then offers me $12.00 for two, TWO, pairs of pants. And one of them was Cody's. The rejection went deep. I gathered what was left of my pride, picked up my now riffled through basket and proceeded to make my way out the door. Trying not to flatten anyone with my butt on my way out. Trying to ignore the stares that are obviously screaming "stupid old has been, trying to sell HER clothes here! What a joke". I was practically running to the door. I throw my clothes into my car and head home. Sigh... where have the years gone???

I really don't have a whole lot to contribute to this blog, but I'll go ahead and give you my thoughts anyway. I haven't been doing too much, just kinda hanging out and taking each day as it comes. I did spend the weekend with an old friend, which was really fun. We went shopping and ate at some nice restaurants, and had a great time. I wish she stilled lived close to me so we could see each other more.

The newest thing in my life is running with my sister. We go each Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I am really starting to love this. I am not one of those people who love to run either. I wasn't even sure that I would ever improve, but we've only gone 5 times and I feel like I've tripled my endurance! Now, that's still not saying alot, because I was pretty bad to start with, but it's an improvement for me! It makes me feel great and relieves a lot of stress. I also enjoy the quality time with my sis! We are looking forward to doing several 5k's this year, which I NEVER thought I would do!

I start back to school next week. Part of me is looking forward to having something to do each day, but part of me is scared too. It's that same old doubt creeping in. I always feel like I won't be able to do something before I start it. We will be seeing patients in clinic every week now and I don't feel ready yet. So wish me luck!

I am so almost done with this semester of school. I only have two weeks left, and that's counting finals week. For some reason, even though it is so close to being over, it all still seems impossible! I should do fine in all my classes. I have an 85% in my DHY class and I'm worried about that one. I have to have a 75% to pass, cause OTC forgets that they're just a community college, so I'm worried about bombing the final and failing!!! For some reason, it just hasn't hit me that it's almost over, so I'm not even excited yet. I think I'm just so focused on getting through the entire program, that this little break seems insignificant. I need to snap out of this little mood I've been in!

You know you're in a bad mood when you are going through the Taco Bell drive-through and realize you're memorizing the complaint phone number and store number because the drive-through operator started the conversation with "Hi. How are you?" instead of "How may I help you?"

This blog is for my best friend, Ashley, who is turning 24 today. Ashley and I met when we were in high school. She was a freshman and I was a senior. We both played on the volleyball team, and became great friends right away. When the team decided to start a big sister program, I immediately chose Ashley to be my lil sis. We had a ton of fun that year.

After I graduated we were always together with our little group of friends. I've always loved spending time with Ashley. She is such a fun person. She is also one of the most caring people I've even known. I can tell her anything and her opinion of me never changes. She just helps me think through the situation and find my true feelings on the matter. I've cried on her shoulder many times throughout the years. Once, we met for breakfast at Panera and I cried through the whole meal! She just sat and listened to everything that was troubling me, which was exactly what I needed at the time. She is one of the best friends I've ever had.

Ashley is the most honest person I've ever met; and unlike most, she also applies this honesty in her own life too. I think this is a very rare quality to find in a person these days, and this is one of the aspects of her personality that I love. I always know that I will get an honest answer from her. That is a true friend, one that will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

Ashley and I got married within 3 months of each other. We had a ton of fun dreaming and planning our weddings together. We were both bridesmaids in each other's weddings too. I was very glad to have her at my side for such an important time in my life, and I was honored that she would ask me to be at her side for her special day.

Some of the best times we had together was when we lived in apartments right across the hall from each other. Both of our husbands were working in Columbia, MO at the time, so we had a lot of time to hang out. I loved having her so close. I could always open my door and be at her doorstep in just a few seconds. We would make trips to Wal-Mart, Target and, of course, Sonic, all the time. We had 6 great months of this arrangment before, sadly, she moved to Columbia. I miss her all the time!

So, Ashley, I hope you have a great birthday and a wonderful year! Thank-you so much for your friendship- it means more to me than I can say! I miss you, and can't wait for the day when you move back to Springfield! Love ya girl!

Today is the 4 year anniversary of my Papa's death. April 9th was the date he was born and the date he died. Papa was an amazing person. He never met a stranger. He had unconditional love for us. Papa was never a healthy person, so he was in and out of hospitals all the time, but he always had a good attitude. He would make jokes to keep everyone from worrying about him. Sometimes I think he would lay awake at night just thinking of the next joke to tell. I still miss him. Sometimes I can't believe he's been gone for four years already. It makes me sad to think of all that he has missed. I know he would have loved to be at my wedding and he would absolutely have fallen in love with Anna. I wish she could have known him. I have so many great memories of Papa. I will always cherish those memories of him. Today I'm going out to place some flowers on his grave and to just remember my grandpa.

I've had a pretty tough week. Those of you close to me know this. You've seen the tears, the anger, the sadness. Most of this, I'm sure, is caused by stress. I think some is just a little emotional unstableness that I've experienced ever since the panic attacks started. Whatever the reason, I've struggled to find my rainbow this week. My mom sent me an email this week that listed a couple of things that she was thankful for and then listed a couple things that I can be thankful for. I've mentioned before that this is something my Mom has always encouraged me to do... list out the positives in life. It always seems to help me through the tough times. I've always been "the cup is half empty" personality. Apparently I've struggled against this since I was tiny. I know my Mom has always prayed about this, and her prayers are being answered. It's easier for me to recognize when I'm getting down and now I know what to do to avoid it. I think this week the snow and ice got me a little depressed and I've just had a harder time getting back up. I'm feeling better today, the snow is almost gone, I can get out and drive wherever I want to go...life is getting back to my routine. For some reason, that routine is very important to me. So, now that I'm better, I realize that I need to write some things that I'm thankful for. This week they are small things, but to me, that's okay. Sometimes it's the small things in life that matter, right?

So, I'm thankful for...

My little duplex.

I know, you're probably thinking, why on earth would she be thankful for a little house that she doesn't even own and that is connected to somebody else's house? But to me, this little place is great! I know it's not really mine, and that people have lived here before me, but oh well. To me, it's home. And it's a heck of a lot better than that apartment! I have a garage, which I was really thankful for this week! I have a linen closet where I can put extra blankets, towels or just anything that I want hidden! Today, I was thankful for one of my little cabinets in my kitchen! It's just in the perfect spot and it is perfect for holding our family supply of medicine ( I was reaching for some Advil to get rid of this headache!). Anyway, my home may not be perfect, it may not be grand, it may not really even be mine....but today I'm thankful for it.

I'm also thankful for....

blueberries

Yep, fruit. Little blue pieces of heaven. I LOVE blueberries. They are best when picked straight from the vine, like the ones my mom used to bring home. But, in winter, the ones from Sams are great too. Thanks to my mom, I have a nice little package of them in my frig. They are a little bit of springtime in the midst of winter.

So those are my two little "thank-yous" to God today. Hopefully I will remember to think of something every day and thank God for it. Some days I'll share them here, somedays I might not. If anyone has any they would like to share with me, I would love to hear them!

So I was informed today by Ashley :) that I had not blogged in quite some time. It's just that I've started back to school now, and I have no personal life anymore. Sooo, since I have nothing else to blog about you have to hear about school.

I started back on Monday and by Wednesday at 9:00 am I was taking my first test of the semester. Yep, my life is fun right about now. The test did go very well; I got a 100% on it, and it was an important test! I am taking a lot of hours this semester (around 17 I think) so I am going to be overwhelmed for awhile, but I'm loving it! I think a part of me was a little afraid that I would get into this program and hate it. Last semester I had so much going on, I wasn't really able to enjoy it. Plus, we really hadn't made it into the good stuff yet. This semester we are really getting started practicing our instrumentation- which is a ton of fun. It's amazing how much you can see in a little tiny mouth! I'm actually excited to go to clinic! And that is a truly amazing statement from me, because I'm not like Amber who could say that about EVERY class. Love ya, sis :). So, anyway, I'm enjoying this semester so far and I'm not getting panicky...yet. I'm not sure that that won't hit me eventually. Most of my class is having small panic attacks on a daily basis, but I'm calm, cool, and collected. I've either learned how to control my stress level, or the Xanax is working. You choose which to believe, me.... I like the first choice :).

Other than school, I haven't done much. I did finally get my bird feeders set up and I finally had some birds come to it! I was super excited to see two, TWO, cardinals! I've also been visited by a squirrel, which is okay with me as long as he doesn't eat my feeders! He was trying so hard to get on my feeders that I felt sorry for him (afterall, I'm sure he's starving) and I decided to set him up a little feeder too. I just got a little plastic bowl and nailed it to the deck. I'm sure he'll eat it to pieces, but maybe he won't mess with my feeders! I also hammered my finger a couple times while I was putting it up so that squirrel better appreciate my efforts! My finger still hurts too!

Well, that's pretty much me. I have to go and finish my homework so I can play tomorrow.

I'm writing this blog in response to my sister's comment on my previous blog- so you may have to go read that in order to understand this one. Amber really gave me some great advice- that kind of advice that kinda snaps you out of this weird mood and throws you right into reality. The good kind of reality. Usually reality isn't a good place for me, but this one was. I've mentioned several times that I feel like I'm waiting for my real life to begin, and I think I've said that so many times, and felt that way so many times, that I really have begun to lose sight of all the great blessings in my life. I was basically having a nice little pity party just for myself. I invited others along several times too. Amber read my blog and did her big sister duty and gave me some great advice. I think sometimes we just need to be reminded of what we have. Unfortunately for me I must need constant remindings. A couple of blogs back Julie B wrote a comment that really went to my heart as well, but I must have forgotten to focus on her words until I heard them repeated by Amber. So a big thanks to you both for helping me realize that I am living my real life each and every day, even if some of my biggest dreams are still in the future. My mom has always helped me through tough situations by insisting that I focus on the positive, sometimes she even had me write those positives down, so I'm going to list all the good things I have right now that would be much harder if I had a baby. :)

• I have time to enjoy my beautiful niece and nephew and really get to know them
• I can just up and go whenever I want without worrying about nap times or feedings
• I sleep
• Cody and I have this time to enjoy each other and concentrate on our relationship
• I can help one of my best friends with her baby in a time that she really needs help
• I can concentrate on my school without any disruptions
• I have a chance to better our future and because of that will be able to provide a better life for our children
• I can go visit my best friend who lives in a different city
• I have the opportunity to learn about parenting from my sister who does a wonderful job

The list can go on and on, but I think I will leave it there for now. So, I may still struggle with impatience at times, but thanks to a good friend and a great big sister, I realize I need to concentrate on the positive. Thanks guys!

Well, the new year is upon us. I haven't quite determined what kind of year I'm expecting, hopefully it will be a good year for our family. I think we are all ready for one. I am continually finding myself pondering this and the only thing that keeps coming to my mind is that this is an odd numbered year- how good could it really be. I'm trying not to let that affect my year, but it's there all the same. But, as my mom pointed out to me, 2008 was an even numbered year and to be honest... eh. This year hasn't been so great either. I have a feeling that 2009 will be another year of waiting for me. Waiting to graduate, waiting to be pregnant, waiting for our "real life" to begin. Today I'm okay with that- maybe it's just the champagne I'm enjoying right now- but whatever it is, I'm okay with the world tonight. I think I'm getting pretty good at waiting for all that stuff, after all I've been waiting for awhile now. So I think I'll give this year the benefit of the doubt and just sit back and let the good things happen. That sounds just about right to me.